Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
