i will never coherently bang her
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize