She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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