id be glad to
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
