Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize