Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
