I wish I could punch you in the face.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
