So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Dear god my vagina.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
