At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize