i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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