i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
