I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My vagina is officially offended.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize