dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
