That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
