i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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