He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
