My first STD was from a foam party
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She bit a glass in half.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
this is an emotional support booty call
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