THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're a waste of cheezeits
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
how does that bad decision feel?
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