yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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