She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
