Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm going to jail i love you
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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