Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
