He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
