he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
