I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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