Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
