It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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