A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
