I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Do vagina's smell?
he was CRYING into my vagina
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
