I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Sober January is a disaster.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Randomize
