just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
