One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
