this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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