her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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