were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
