i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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