Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
