I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
