Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
