hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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