yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
