if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
smell my finger.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
