woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
