She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
