You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's shark week go big or go home
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
