i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
