I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
