Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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