fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
