There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
