pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
