No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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