I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
