I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
try to milk me bitch
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
