I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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