I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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