Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
