I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
