But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
