Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have demons in me.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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