At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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