brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
