he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
