Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize