You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
