Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
