You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
